Posted in Mentality

Dealing with Writer’s Block and Overthinking

A blank page. Cursor blinking. On. Off. On. Off. On… Fingers switching between resting on the keys and restlessly thrumming on them but no words are filling the page.

What I just described is a part of what it feels like to have writer’s block. There are either too many ideas but no clarity of how to write them or simply too few and your mind feels blank, as if there are no words in it.

To be fairly honest with you, I don’t know what this post is going to be, nor do I know, if I will even publish this. I just have the need to write something, anything at all, because it feels like I can’t at the moment. What I’m writing doesn’t feel good enough, not worthy enough, not cohesive enough to be on the Internet and be read by you. Words too shallow, sentences and paragraphs not long enough. I just need to prove to myself that I still know how to write.

Should I publish this, it is not to arouse pity or make you feel like you have to reassure me. It is simply to show what I think many writers, no matter the type of content they produce, go through sometimes. Some more (often) some less (often). And I would also say that depending on the individual, the experience is different for each and everyone.

So, now we know what the problem is but how do we deal with it? Well, I think the best way how to deal with writer’s block or rather, how I always deal with it, is by writing. Ha, ha, very funny Luna. Yeah, no, I am serious. Just sit down and write. Don’t focus on your project, the text that you’re supposed to be writing, but just write. Open your notepad, Word or whatever program it is you’re using to write, or simply grab a pen and some paper or a notebook and just write. Whatever comes to your mind. Your current thoughts, recount your day, a conversation you had with a friend and what you think about it. Just write. Produce words.

It can be so freeing not to focus on anything specific but just open your mind and let anything that comes to mind flow onto the page. It’s basically what I am doing right now. I just sat down and wrote. Not thinking about anything specific, just letting the thoughts that are currently bothering me be those thoughts and as I am writing, it feels like the text is writing itself. I’m not really worried about structure, cohesiveness or anything else, I’m just writing, with no goal in mind.

Sometimes we worry too much about what we’re writing, how we’re writing it and what people will think of it. Heck, today it took me about 20 minutes just to formulate a single email because I was overthinking it and double checking everything. Sure, some people would call that professional, it’s just something you do, if you wanna make sure that there are no mistakes, but I would say there is a small line between being throrough and exact and being pedantic. Like, I overthink every single sentence that I write. Is the tone right? What if it is misconstrued? CAN it even be misconstrued? And so on and so forth. It’s exhausting, really.

Realizing that sometimes writing can just be, well writing aka the act of putting words down and doesn’t in and of itself come with any rules or requirements, can really help take the strain off of things.

I think I will publish this, even if it’s just to show you this process that I and likely many others go through from time to time. Who knows, maybe it helps some of you to feel more confident in your own writing. Maybe you realize that not everything you write has to be absolutely perfect every single time and maybe, just maybe it’ll help you to be a little bit kinder to yourself, just as I am being right now.

Take care and stay safe, everyone ❀

~Luna


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Posted in Mentality

Instant Gratification Station

This is, in a way, an add-on to my other post. Check that one out, if you haven’t already. I think I’ve mentioned instant gratification briefly in my other post but I’ve recently noticed how bad it can actually get.

Motivational issues are nothing new to anybody I would think. It’s just one of these days where you feel kinda “meh” about the things you have to do and procrastinate on them by doing other things. Yeah, that’s what your day usually looks like, if you’re procrastinator. However, I have these days where I go and procrastinate on things that I actually want to do by doing other things that I also like but do everyday anyway.

There are exactly two reactions that one gets when they describe this issue to someone else. It’s either “oh, yeah, I do that too” or “eeeeeh….what?”. Let me explain it to the ones that had the second reaction while reading this: This means that I want to, for example, play a video game sometime during the day and I have the free time to do so but I end up being on my phone instead (like being on Pinterest for ages, anyone else?) until it’s too late to actually still play said video game and I end up being salty because I didn’t get to do the thing that I actually wanted to do…. Aka. I didn’t have “proper freetime” because being on my phone is something I do every single day anyway, like that doesn’t count as freetime, what are you talking about?

Or to give you another example: I will sit there and watch a movie that I haven’t seen before and I am actually curious to know what will happen but I want to know it right then and there and so I take out my phone and google the fucking plot summary instead of normally watching the movie like any other person would…

Yeeeah, I’ll give you a moment to take that in…

It is so absolutely and utterly stupid that I don’t even know myself how I can justify that in any way, shape or form. I don’t think you can. But the main problem is: I feel like it’s getting worse and worse. We basically have constant entertainment at our disposal. The Internet is filled with things that we can discover and oh yes… look… the approximately 6000th pin that I can save to one of my many boards, don’t mind if I do… Now, where was I? Dammit, got distracted again.

It’s so easy to fall into this trap of instant gratification, even if you’re actually looking forward to something else. Because why turn on the PC and start a game, when I have my phone right here, next to my cozy and warm bed, and I don’t even have to properly move in order to get it? And I would say that, as someone who is already succumbing to instant gratification when procrastinating on the things I have to do, it’s even easier to succumb to it in every other situation as well.

It’s insanely frustrating and the only real solution is to just stop doing it. There is no magic potion, no productivity tool, no “try this and all your problems will be a thing of the past” voodoo trick that will solve this issue, the same goes for procrastination. It’s all just mentality. That and the fight against the weaker self that you have to do over and over and over again until you finally come out on top for good.

sighs But hey, who knows maybe this year will finally be the one where I beat procrastination and everything it comes with for good – yeah, let’s all laugh together.

Anyways, I am gonna go now and make sure my procrastinating, instant gratification loving ass has less to procrastinate on. Take care everyone! ❀

~Luna

Now reading through what I have just written, it almost seems as if my phone was the problem, but psssssh… let’s not go into that shall we?


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Posted in Life, Mentality

2021 RECAP

Starting to stream, receiving a huge boost, finding new friends through streaming, increasing my work hours, losing my job… So many things have happened…

Hi, I’m back! 2021 definitely was a roller coaster from start to finish. Strap yourselves in folks, this is gonna be a long one.

So I recently cracked open my, admittedly very failed, Bullet Journal for 2021 (the last spread I did was April…but let’s not talk about that now shall we? πŸ˜…) and realized that almost all of the things that I wrote at the very beginning of the year, the things that 2021 should be filled with, 2021 has actually been filled with.

Happiness, ideas, togetherness, positivity, hugs, luck, laughter, growth, opportunities and many more…

But there were also multiple things that went less than ideal. So let’s start the recap, shall we?

As you may or may not know, I started streaming last year in April. Pretty much along the same time, I opened this blog and began writing blog posts. Was, unfortunately, not really able to keep up with it, but more on that and why I’m hoping to change that again in a bit. Pretty soon after I had started streaming, I was insanely lucky to receive a huge boost, for which I will be forever grateful, and suddenly there were people actually watching and caring about what I did. It was an incredible feeling and I was extraordinarily happy. So happy that I wished I could do it all the time. However, I was still working part time and had even recently increased my hours, because I had actually managed to get myself a bachelor’s degree and wanted to focus a bit more on working instead of uni. Didn’t mean that I wanted to stop focusing on uni completely, but at that point we had summer holidays, so stuff worked out, but boy was I naive to think that it would continue being that way. (Spoiler: It didn’t.)

Summer holidays also meant I had more time for being social, which was great, considering I had actually found new friends via streaming. Didn’t think it was actually possible to get this close with people you’ve never met in real life, but the internet, chatting and video phoning did it’s job and we knew pretty quickly that we wanted to meet in real life. All of that required planning and since I was the only one that was working every single day, we had to plan that around that somehow. It worked out, but it certainly wasn’t ideal, however, it wasn’t as if I could have just taken time off anytime someone was coming, so it was what it was.

As the summer faded, work became more and more demanding, which is not a surprise considering more hours meant more responsibility, and I quickly realized that I probably wouldn’t be able to continue as things were, but I tried. I tried to squeeze everyhing I could into the day: work, stream, blog, other socials, uni, workout, social life, at that point also a relationship and free time/time where I took care of myself. Needless to say, it didn’t work out and multiple fights, mental break downs, lost sleep and lost weight, due to simply not having the time to eat, were the result of the lifestyle that I was living, but I tried to keep going. My friends became more and more concerend about me and my health and tried to make me see that I was already at my limit and wouldn’t be able to continue, but I was stubborn.

Then came September, October and the beginning of November. Now, sorry, I know that sounds all dramatic and stuff, like something along the lines of “everything changed when the fire nation attacked” but it was sorta dramatic. At the end of September I lost my, what I thought was a stable job, due to economical reasons. This was a first for me and I knew that I had 6 weeks in order to find something new. I wanted to give Twitch a chance, but doing that meant that I had to see whether or not I could make it work. So I increased my stream hours, while simultaneously looking for a new job, because I didn’t think it would work out financially otherwise.

The next one and half months were hell. Uni had picked back up and that meant that I had even less time for the stuff I was doing. So there I was, trying to manage a week with about 12-15 hours of streaming, 15 hours of work, about 2-3 hours of uni each day, doing organisatory and bureaucracy stuff for the stream, trying not to fry my social life completely, being there for the people who needed me, trying to keep my relationship from completely breaking appart and doing the bare minimum to keep my soul from leaving my body, in order to find a more responsible vessel… Yeah… I don’t think that I need to tell you that this is definitely not something you should do.

Relief came with a talk that I had with my parents, who told me that for now I don’t have to worry about finding something new. That I should give Twitch a chance. That I should cut back at work to do the necessary but not more and also cut back at uni, since I have a degree already and can always focus on uni again, once the other things are sorted out. I am so insanely grateful to them for being as supportive as they are. Yes, I may be 25 years old and no longer need the approval from my parents, but knowing that they do support you is just absolutely incredible. From then on things began to be a bit easier. It was still stressful but the insane pressure lessened. Unfortunately, my relationship did end up falling appart, but I’m not gonna elaborate on that any further. It just didn’t work out, because we had different views.

For the rest of the year I fell into a somewhat comfortable rythm. Doing uni, which sadly started being online again, so my motivation for that flew out of the window never to be seen again pretty quickly, and streaming in between. And for a while that worked out pretty well. However, towards the end of the year and beginning this year I started to notice that something wasn’t right. I felt frustrated and angry with myself and didn’t even know why for some time. After a while I realized that it was, because I wasn’t being as productive as I’d liked to be and that wasn’t happy anymore with the quality of the content I was producing. Granted, I was also dealing with some health issues, but my mentality plummeted and I felt drained more often than not. On top that I felt like I wasn’t improving anymore. I had lost my fire and had gotten too comfortable. I had completely stopped producing any sort of other content other than stream and I had gotten bored of myself, my own content.

All of this I realized with a clarity when I woke up one day, after a horrid night’s sleep, and my head just started screaming at me. All of my insecurities, self-doubt and every negative thought I’ve ever had about myself were there all of a sudden and they were so loud. After I had finally found a way to make them quieten down again, I knew with a clarity that this wasn’t how things can continue. I needed to change something. What those changes are gonna be exactly, is at the point of writing this post still up in the air. I’m hoping to use this week to clean up some “constuction zones” that are currently open, reorganize myself and figure out not if but how I’m gonna continue this adventure I’m currently on.

However, one of the things that I already know that I wanna change, is to create other content besides streaming again, including blog posts. The plan is to do at least one a week, even if it’s just someting I ramble about and it’s less elaborate than this one right here. Some of the other things that I wanna work out is my own health – mentally and physically. I can’t just stop taking care of my body any time things get stressful, so I also need to find preventitive measures to make sure that all of the negative things above don’t happen again, and, on top of all that, I need to find a way to realistically decide, what I can promise others and myself, as to not keep feeling like I’m disappointing people and myself.

So yeah, that was my 2021 and the beginning of 2022. I know that it was a long post, so thank you for taking the time to read. It feels good to be back to writing and I’m hoping that I will be able to keep up with it.

Time to show you what I can do once I have regained my passion!

But for now, see (read) you in the next one! Please stay safe and healthy! ❀

~Luna


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  • Instant Gratification Station
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  • 2021 RECAP
    Starting to stream, receiving a huge boost, finding new friends through streaming, increasing my work hours, losing my job… So many things have happened… Hi, I’m back! 2021 definitely was a […]
Posted in Mentality

A Laywoman’s Guide to Meditation

Where to start, why I think everybody should at least try it once and what all of that has to do with no longer wanting to give a fuck about everything. Put your seat belt on peeps, this is a long one xD

So, if you have read my “The Path to Self-Improvement” series, you probably already know this, but for those who didn’t: I’ve started meditating regularly during the past month.

I’ve always wanted to include meditation in my daily routine, simply because the few times I did try it, it always felt nice. However, I always struggled with keeping up with it or finding time for it every single day. That has now changed, thanks to the challenge that me and my friend Joan did for two weeks. I have included meditation into my daily routine and, in fact, have already noticed that I miss it, if for some reason, I don’t have time to do it on certain days.

Now, I am certainly no expert, probably not even intermediate yet, when it comes to meditation, but I wanted to write this post nonetheless because I noticed that it can be confusing af to know where to even start and there are a bunch of things that I find are important to know, regarding the topic.

How do I know, if meditation is for me?

Honestly, I think everyone can and should at least try to give meditation a shot at some point in their lives. In my opinion you can only know, if it is for you, if you have tried it. I mean, I guess if the concept of sitting still and focusing on yourself for a few minutes doesn’t appeal to you at all, then that’s also okay, of course. However, even then I’d recommend to at least try it once, you might be surprised.

To Guide or to be Guided that is the question…

…and probably a major one that you are likely to ask yourself at the beginning of your meditation journey.

Guided meditations are programs or videos where someone quite literally talks you through the whole process. They are most often targeting a certain topic and help you focus by telling you to pay attention to your body and your breathing. The benefit of such meditations is that it is easier to stay focused than it would be, if you didn’t have a voice that keeps bringing you back to the task at hand, when your thoughts inevitably decide to take a stroll.

Non-guided meditations on the other hand are great, if you just want to sit down and relax for a little bit without having to focus on anything. They are fantastic for “emptying your mind”, so to speak. However, while some people might immediately get the hang of it, most people, including myself, struggle to keep their mind from wandering during meditation, especially when they are only starting out. So it can be a quite hard to just sit down, focus on nothing and have your mind quiet down.

But why is that?

Well, I can of course only speak for myself and what’s going on in my mind when I try to quieten it down, but I tend to think about a lot of random stuff. Starting from all the stuff that I need to do that day, over what’s gonna be for lunch, all the way to what I saw on social media the day before. What usually happens then is that I wonder why I can’t focus and start to focus on why I can’t focus and that I should be able to and suddenly the whole calm and serenity is broken because now I am judging myself for not being able to focus… yeah… you get the gist xD

So I have very quickly realized that guided meditation is the way to go for me, and I’m very happy with it 😊

Where to start?

When it comes to non-guided meditations, that question is easy to answer: either look for some quiet background music you enjoy and that isn’t distracting to you or do it without any music at all. You’ll figure out pretty quickly what you prefer, I’m sure.

When it comes to guided meditations, however, the question get’s a little bit more complicated to answer. There are a ton of different apps and programs out there that offer you guided meditation, such as Headspace or Calm, to only name two, and at least I felt a bit overwhelmed by all of the possibilities in the beginning.

I found that the easiest way to see, if meditation is something you want in your life is by looking for guided meditations on YouTube. There are so many out there, targeting so many different topics and it’s genuinely a very good place to get started.

If you then want to switch to an app for whatever reason, I can recommend reading through some reviews and maybe looking for some comparisons between the different apps; or you can of course also download them yourself and check them out. Most of them do have some free features after all.

Why should you meditate?

Meditation has many benefits and most of them you’ll find out for yourself once you give it a shot, but for me there are two that stick out in particular. One is the fact that no matter what mood I’m in, meditation helps to improve it. Even if it’s just by a little bit but does help.

The second major benefit that I see in meditation is that it helps me focus on myself for a little while and not on my friends or family or strangers and what those might think of me. It helps me to shut those thoughts down for a bit and just focus on what I want for myself.

So, now what does all of that have to do with no longer wanting to give a fuck about everything?

Well that’s easily explained. Meditation forces you to focus on yourself instead of others. Depending on what you go for, you might even tackle certain topics that bother you and you might find that they become much easier to deal with, the more often you concern yourself with them.

So, if you’re someone like me, who used to give too many fucks about too many things, meditation can help you to center your thoughts and make you aware of what really matters. I personally realized that I was spending too many thoughts and too much energy on things that didn’t really matter instead of focusing on a few things that I wanted to matter. It helped me to take a step back from my life and reevaluate what I really wanted to spend my energy on in the future.

Of course, and I think that needs to be said as well, meditation is no miracle. It’s a process. And a process takes time and there will be better days and worse days. Old habits die hard after all and sadly, nothing will magically solve itself. However, I have noticed significant improvements in my life since I included it in my daily routine and that surely has to stand for something, right?

Have you ever considered including meditation into your daily life or maybe you are already doing it and want to share your own experiences? Let me know in the comments 😊

As always, stay safe and healthy, and thank you to everyone who is supporting this blog in any way, shape or form. You’re all incredible and I appreciate every single one of you ❀

~Luna


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Posted in Mentality

Procrastination Frustration

Most of us know it, many of us do it: procrastinating. Including me, so in today’s post I want to talk to you about my experiences with procrastination and why it annoys me so much.

But before we dive deeper into my personal story and experiences, we first have to answer the question: what even is procrastination? Essentially, the act of procrastinating means to postpone something to “later” but the problem about this is nobody, not even you yourself really knows when this “later” is going to be. You just don’t wanna do it right now and so do other things instead. Those can either also be productive things like cleaning or doing work around the house or, and this is the more likely version of procrastination, spending the time watching videos, playing video games, being on social media etc. Now, I’m not saying that those are bad things to do, ef no, I do them myself often enough, and they are definitely great leisure time activities.

So if the activities themselves are not the problem, then what is it? It’s the time you do them in/ the activity you do them instead of. Say, you have a big project due soon-ish and it is so much work that you don’t know where to start. The smart and probably correct thing to do would be to just start, anywhere, doesn’t matter where as long as you do it, after all you can go back, revise your work and improve it. As a procrastinator, however, you do the exact opposite and just spend your time doing other things for so long that it gets too late for you to do the actual work and so you end up postponing it to the next day. And then rinse and repeat until the deadline is literally in a few days, you panic, have to pull an allnighter (or multiple) and the project ends up being rushed.

Sounds horrible right? Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Well, here is the thing, I don’t know. I don’t know, why I don’t get up early in the morning, do my work straight away and then have the rest of the day for whatever it is I want to do. It sounds like such a nice thing to have and yet I rarely ever manage to do so. I don’t even really know when I started procrastinating. I can only remember that I suddenly started doing it and have been doing it ever since. And man, does it suck! πŸ˜…

Getting instant gratification from doing all those leisure time activities when you’re not supposed to be doing them doesn’t even feel good. You feel unhappy, guilty and there is this little voice in the back of your mind that constantly goes: “you should be doing work, have you thought about your work?, why are you doing this? you know that you’re gonna be angry at yourself, if you keep this up”…. and so on and so forth. I know all of this and yet it is so hard to break this habit. It’s like being on a roller coaster that goes around and around and around and I’m already sick from the ride and I wanna get off it but at some point some part of my mind has decided that this is my life now and we’re gonna have fun on this ride!

Some people that are non-procrastinators will now probably think “but Luna, this seems to be just an issue of conquering your weaker self, you just have to learn how to be stronger than that!” and yeah, honestly? You’re right, it is absolutely just that. And I guess that is what frustrates me so much about it. Sometimes it works out: I get up earlier, plan out my day, take regular breaks and just get stuff done; and it feels fantastic!
There are techniques that work for me as well: bullet journaling really helps me out, so does breaking tasks down to smaller junks and I have also started to actively decide against working when I feel like I can’t concentrate or lack the motivation to do so, if I have the freedom to do so, of course. All of those things are helping but it would be so much easier, if I could just get off this ride and move on. πŸ˜…

I guess the only way out of this really is to keep working on myself and my mindset. However, writing this post, I have also realized something. Not all procrastination is bad I would even go as far as to say that there are even some kinds that are beneficial! Sometimes you might not want to rush into things that you might end up unhappy with/in. That could be jobs, relationships or other bigger choices in life that you might wanna think over again or maybe you have already made a choice, you ended up being unhappy with and now you want to change something by leaving it be for a while in order to pursue something that interests you more.

All of those are situations where you might want to procrastinate a little bit in order to find out what you really want or what really works for you and that is more than okay because if the opportunity presents itself, why not do something that really makes you happy?

~Luna

Still… can someone call a theme park worker, please? I’d like to get off this ride now.


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Want to know what I do when I’m not here writing blog posts? Check out my socials down below and/or come and hang out with me when I stream on Twitch. Looking forward to seeing you there! πŸ˜„


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    Posted in Mentality

    Putting myself out there

    On Tuesday the 21st of April 2020 I did something that I was really scared of.

    I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, decided to put myself out there and did my very first stream on Twitch. I know, right – crazy! I still can’t believe I actually did it. ^^;

    I was extremely nervous and a lot of thoughts were racing through my head: “is everything gonna work out technology wise? Are people even gonna watch me and do I really want them to? Am I gonna know what to say? Am I gonna be able to handle keeping an eye on everything? What are people gonna think of me?” and so on and so forth.

    So, you can see that I tend to worry and overthink things a lot and normally, those thoughts and the uncertainty of it all would have been enough for me to decide that it might be safer not do it but … I did it nonetheless; and it felt amazing! πŸ˜€

    Well, I was still super nervous and some things sadly did go wrong as well but towards the end of it I was starting to relax a bit more and by the time I was done with the stream, I was already looking forward to the next one.
    I also realized that every time you start with something new, you have to start at the beginning. There is no shortcut to new skills and that is good. You, me, all of us have to let ourselves be a beginner at… well, the beginning of learning how to do a new thing or activity in order to become good at it.
    It is rare that someone starts learning something completely new and they’re automatically good at at and we shouldn’t put ourselves down when we are not immediately perfect at something.

    Mishaps and mistakes happen, we are only human after all.

    Of course those things are specific to my situation but in general, I can really vouch for trying out something new, maybe even something you might initially be afraid of; as long as it doesn’t actually harm you or anybody else of course.

    I think learning to put yourself out there and possibly getting judged by other people for it is an important lesson that we all have to learn sooner or later because it is a valuable skill for life and can give you a huge confidence boost.

    Has there ever been anything you’ve been scared of doing and ended up doing it nonetheless?
    How did it feel?
    Please, let me know in the comments I love hearing these kinds of stories! 😊

    Take care! ❀

    Luna


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    Hello and Welcome to my new Blog

    Hi, and welcome to my first ever post. πŸ˜€ I’m very happy that I’ve finally gotten around to doing this and I’m glad you, dear reader, are a part of this pathway that I want to take or rather have taken.I’ve to admit I’m very new to all of this but I’m hoping that I […]


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