Posted in Mentality

Procrastination Frustration

Most of us know it, many of us do it: procrastinating. Including me, so in today’s post I want to talk to you about my experiences with procrastination and why it annoys me so much.

But before we dive deeper into my personal story and experiences, we first have to answer the question: what even is procrastination? Essentially, the act of procrastinating means to postpone something to “later” but the problem about this is nobody, not even you yourself really knows when this “later” is going to be. You just don’t wanna do it right now and so do other things instead. Those can either also be productive things like cleaning or doing work around the house or, and this is the more likely version of procrastination, spending the time watching videos, playing video games, being on social media etc. Now, I’m not saying that those are bad things to do, ef no, I do them myself often enough, and they are definitely great leisure time activities.

So if the activities themselves are not the problem, then what is it? It’s the time you do them in/ the activity you do them instead of. Say, you have a big project due soon-ish and it is so much work that you don’t know where to start. The smart and probably correct thing to do would be to just start, anywhere, doesn’t matter where as long as you do it, after all you can go back, revise your work and improve it. As a procrastinator, however, you do the exact opposite and just spend your time doing other things for so long that it gets too late for you to do the actual work and so you end up postponing it to the next day. And then rinse and repeat until the deadline is literally in a few days, you panic, have to pull an allnighter (or multiple) and the project ends up being rushed.

Sounds horrible right? Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Well, here is the thing, I don’t know. I don’t know, why I don’t get up early in the morning, do my work straight away and then have the rest of the day for whatever it is I want to do. It sounds like such a nice thing to have and yet I rarely ever manage to do so. I don’t even really know when I started procrastinating. I can only remember that I suddenly started doing it and have been doing it ever since. And man, does it suck! πŸ˜…

Getting instant gratification from doing all those leisure time activities when you’re not supposed to be doing them doesn’t even feel good. You feel unhappy, guilty and there is this little voice in the back of your mind that constantly goes: “you should be doing work, have you thought about your work?, why are you doing this? you know that you’re gonna be angry at yourself, if you keep this up”…. and so on and so forth. I know all of this and yet it is so hard to break this habit. It’s like being on a roller coaster that goes around and around and around and I’m already sick from the ride and I wanna get off it but at some point some part of my mind has decided that this is my life now and we’re gonna have fun on this ride!

Some people that are non-procrastinators will now probably think “but Luna, this seems to be just an issue of conquering your weaker self, you just have to learn how to be stronger than that!” and yeah, honestly? You’re right, it is absolutely just that. And I guess that is what frustrates me so much about it. Sometimes it works out: I get up earlier, plan out my day, take regular breaks and just get stuff done; and it feels fantastic!
There are techniques that work for me as well: bullet journaling really helps me out, so does breaking tasks down to smaller junks and I have also started to actively decide against working when I feel like I can’t concentrate or lack the motivation to do so, if I have the freedom to do so, of course. All of those things are helping but it would be so much easier, if I could just get off this ride and move on. πŸ˜…

I guess the only way out of this really is to keep working on myself and my mindset. However, writing this post, I have also realized something. Not all procrastination is bad I would even go as far as to say that there are even some kinds that are beneficial! Sometimes you might not want to rush into things that you might end up unhappy with/in. That could be jobs, relationships or other bigger choices in life that you might wanna think over again or maybe you have already made a choice, you ended up being unhappy with and now you want to change something by leaving it be for a while in order to pursue something that interests you more.

All of those are situations where you might want to procrastinate a little bit in order to find out what you really want or what really works for you and that is more than okay because if the opportunity presents itself, why not do something that really makes you happy?


Still… can someone call a theme park worker, please? I’d like to get off this ride now.

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    Posted in Mentality

    Putting myself out there

    On Tuesday the 21st of April 2020 I did something that I was really scared of.

    I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, decided to put myself out there and did my very first stream on Twitch. I know, right – crazy! I still can’t believe I actually did it. ^^;

    I was extremely nervous and a lot of thoughts were racing through my head: “is everything gonna work out technology wise? Are people even gonna watch me and do I really want them to? Am I gonna know what to say? Am I gonna be able to handle keeping an eye on everything? What are people gonna think of me?” and so on and so forth.

    So, you can see that I tend to worry and overthink things a lot and normally, those thoughts and the uncertainty of it all would have been enough for me to decide that it might be safer not do it but … I did it nonetheless; and it felt amazing! πŸ˜€

    Well, I was still super nervous and some things sadly did go wrong as well but towards the end of it I was starting to relax a bit more and by the time I was done with the stream, I was already looking forward to the next one.
    I also realized that every time you start with something new, you have to start at the beginning. There is no shortcut to new skills and that is good. You, me, all of us have to let ourselves be a beginner at… well, the beginning of learning how to do a new thing or activity in order to become good at it.
    It is rare that someone starts learning something completely new and they’re automatically good at at and we shouldn’t put ourselves down when we are not immediately perfect at something.

    Mishaps and mistakes happen, we are only human after all.

    Of course those things are specific to my situation but in general, I can really vouch for trying out something new, maybe even something you might initially be afraid of; as long as it doesn’t actually harm you or anybody else of course.

    I think learning to put yourself out there and possibly getting judged by other people for it is an important lesson that we all have to learn sooner or later because it is a valuable skill for life and can give you a huge confidence boost.

    Has there ever been anything you’ve been scared of doing and ended up doing it nonetheless?
    How did it feel?
    Please, let me know in the comments I love hearing these kinds of stories! 😊

    Take care! ❀


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