Tag: Life

Posted in Mentality

How past experiences made me HATE physical exercise and how I no longer do

Posted on by Scoraluna

Hey, listen! I’m here to tell you that working out can definitely be fun and is something you should aim to include in your life at least somehow, but that the reason you don’t like it, might lie hidden in your past experiences.

No, don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some sort of insperational blah blah about how working out or doing sports is healthy for you and you should be doing it, if you wanna keep your body in a good working condition. Heck, you’re probably confronted with that every single day on some sort of social media platfrom and I’m pretty sure you also know that it’s true.

Nope, I am here to tell you that the reason why you might think “Sport ist Mord”, which is a German saying that basically means doing sports is like murdering yourself, might be because of your past experiences with physical exercise. Let me explain what I mean by that.

I feel like everyone knows that past experiences shape us as to who we become as a person, right? However, I feel like sometimes we underestimate, how much influence past experiences can really have on our lives. For me, it took me years to realize that the reason why I used to hate physical exercise and especially ball games has to do with my school days or more specifically PE class during my school days.

If you know what I look like from my socials or my streams, then you’ll know that I’m quite short and for the longest time was quite thin and weak. This should already give you an indicator that that used to make me the perfect candidate to be bad at most things involving physical excercise but now imagine a Luna during puberty and basically being a whisp of a girl. Yeah, as you might guess correctly, I wasn’t very good in PE.

That lead to me always being one of the last ones, if not the last one, to get picked for literally anything and the group that I ended up in, was always unhappy to have me because I was basically dragging down the whole team in their eyes. I was the weak link. I detested that feeling but it made me detest PE as a whole even more.

Having teachers that weren’t encouraging but instead criticised you for not being able to do some stuff in quite a harsh way or, even worse, made fun of you for not being able to do something didn’t help either obviously. The only thing I was decent in, was running, especially sprinting, but since we didn’t do that often, and if we did running then only as stamina training, which I was then again not that good at, there wasn’t really anything that I enjoyed about PE nor something that I could prove myself in so to speak.

Running was also something I did, when I needed to turn off my brain for a bit, so I often went for a run in the afternoon after school and it felt good… until I got told by a doctor that I shouldn’t go running because it was causing me to lose even more weight than my already fast metabolism was causing me to lose and instead should do some other sports. Instead of trying to find something else, I felt like the only part of physical exercise that I really enjoyed just got ripped away from me and just stopped althogether out of frustration.

And then there was the changing room situation. Being as scrawny and small as I was, I wasn’t really traditonally “female” looking. I don’t think I need to explain what that means, I feel like you have all the information you need regarding my looks back then. Well, now imagine you’re in a changing room with a bunch of girls, most of which are already starting to develop curves, and on top of you already feeling self-concious because of your body, you also have to deal with comments from them about your physique, which weren’t necessarily always malicous but they still hurt and made me feel even more uncomfortable.

Needless to say, it was the cocktail of all of that that used to make me hate PE in school but it extended to hating physical exercise overall.

Coming back to the present, I am still underweight but slowly working towards a healthy weight by cooking healthy and nutritous food, working out three times a week, building strength and muscles and actually enjoying physical exercise again. I’ve found a routine and exercises that work for me and I’m actually looking forward to the times when I can do a workout again. Sure, there will always be days where I struggle with the motivation to do so, but I feel like everyone deals with that from time to time and I don’t fall back into that “Sport ist Mord” mentality anymore.

So, for me, it was all about realizing that, finding what works for me, and building a regular routine that made me able to go from hating physical exercicse to genuinely enjoying it again.

Maybe, while reading this, you’ve also realized that you’ve had similar experiences like that and if you have, I’m sorry. But on a positive note, you might just have found a reason, not saying it is the reason, what was stopping you from trying to find something you enjoy.

Also feel free to share your experiences regarding this topic in general, if you want to. I love reading your comments and I will try to get better at answering them quicker, sorry about that 😅 .

Take care, everyone that’s reading this, til the next one ❤

~Luna

(PS: Let me know, if you got the reference in the introductory paragraph 😁)

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Posted in Mentality

My Journey to a Healthier Relationship with Food and Learning how to Cook as an Adult

Posted on by Scoraluna

I know what you’re thinking: Luna, you’re 26 years old, how the fuck do you not yet know how to cook? And to that I say: I do but not right.

Okay, let me explain. I do know how to cook, as in I know how to handle myself in the kitchen but I don’t enjoy it, so I don’t do it often and if I do, I make sure I use mostly pre-done ingredients so I don’t have to bother with prep stuff.

Now, I don’t think I have to tell you that that isn’t neccessarily healthy and every person ever that has ever looked into healthy nutrition will agree. Although I do agree that eating anything at all is better than not eating, you should pay at least some attention to what you eat, in order to make sure you get all the nutrients your body needs. And although I have already known this for quite a while, it took me quite a long time to also want to fix that.

Since I don’t know what your relationship with food in general is I will put a
trigger warning here just in case.

Although I never had an ED as such, as in I never deliberately did anything to mess up my food intake, I would say that my way of eating was very disordered at some points during my life. There would be days where I would be just so busy that I forgot to eat and some other days where getting something to eat seemed like the worst chore to do (Mental health issues, yeeey). And on some other days I would just be lazy and instead resorted to just have snacks or nothing at all. My stance was always: if there was a way of getting all the calories and nutrients that you need through some other way, while still allowing me to consume food normally, cause I do like food I just don’t like making it, then I would go for that in a heartbeat.

The result of all that: My body got used to it and with that my general feeling of hunger kind of “dissappeared” leading to me not feeling like I needed any food. One meal a day was often enough for me to not feel hungry at all.

Before you get out the bonk hammer at this point, (especially if you know me IRL): I know. I know the way that I was handling that wasn’t healthy and I know that this is absolutely nothing one should ever do. And I also know of the consequences this can have, have experienced them: lack of concentration, headaches, dizzy spells, fatique etc… That’s why I finally wanted to fix it.

Regularly working out and being fed up with being underweight (due to my extremely fast metabolism) and wanting to gain weight helped with that because of course you can’t really have healthy weight or muscle gain, if you don’t eat enough. So I really started paying attention to having three regular meals every single day. I didn’t pay much attention to what I ate, I just ate because getting my body used to 3-4 meals a day again was more important to me than watching out for what I ate.

After a while though, I started noticing that all that energy that I had in the beginning when I got my body used to eating regularly again started getting less again. That, and the fact that I was getting bored of my food showed me that I really need to fix my nutrition, before I would go back to my old habits and just not eat again and so I divised a plan on finally doing this right.

I decided to look for a bunch of resources that could help me with cooking food. Basically my requirements were that they are easy, vegetarian recepies that don’t take too long to make cause I still at this point didn’t really enjoy cooking so I wanted to make the step in as easy as possible. I sat down, did some research, copied some links, downloaded some apps and decided to make a meal plan for every week from now on, because I thought, if I already know what I will eat for the week, I will have an easier time going shopping and actually using the ingedients I have at home.

Since I am only cooking for myself I obviously don’t need to cook every single day because I have leftovers that I can eat and when I say meal plan I also don’t mean plan every single meal every single day but just the main meals that I need to cook because I’ll always have something different for breakfast and the third meal of the day.

After I had looked for all that, I realized that I was missing quite some staples that a normal kitchen should have so the next step was to go shopping. Let me tell you, it was really weird to go grocery shopping and buy all of these fresh ingredients, felt like a proper grown up doing that ^^

And then it came down to cook the first proper meal. It went…. oh, as if I could really build up some dramatic tension here… It went really well. Cooking with a recipe was as easy as anything and although I took longer to make it than I should have, simply due to my inexperience in the kitchen when it comes to cutting things right and organization, it didn’t take too long to make either. And… and this is the best thing about it, it tasted really good.

Since then, which was two weeks ago, I have been cooking regularly and the joy I get out of eating something that I really put some effort into and that is made with fresh ingredients really helps with me slowly taking a liking to cooking. However, I have also decided to not force myself to cook anything big, if I don’t feel like cooking anything at all. Pasta and Pesto for example are still a good option to eat when you don’t feel like cooking at all. Don’t worry, during those two weeks that has happened once, I am really trying hard to not let no-motivation-for-cooking-days become the norm again.

So, yeah, I am slowly but surely learning how to cook properly, getting organized in the kitchen and experimenting with different recipes from all over the place. (I am also slowly getting myself used to spicy food because I really cannot handle that well but that’s another story xD)

Maybe you’re someone who enjoys cooking a lot, maybe you have helped with cooking or even cooked yourself since you were young, but for those of you who are like me and really don’t like cooking, I hope this gave you some motivation to give it a shot. It can be fun and it is an extremely nice feeling to eat something that you yourself have made.

Either way, if you wanna share your experiences, feel free to leave a comment, I love reading those!

See you in the next one, til then, take care ❤

~Luna

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Posted in Mentality, Tips and Tricks

Coping with Social Situations without Headphones

Posted on by Scoraluna

This is, as promised the follow up post to my “Of Emotional Burnout and Social Anxiety” post, where I promised to tell you about the way I cope with social situations in which I can’t wear my headphones.

A while ago I was just wasting time and procrastinating on other things I had to do by browsing Instagram when an advertisement caught my eye:

Live life at your volume.

For someone who was at that point constantly overwhelmed, stressed and feeling like everything is just too much all the time, this sounded like an absolute blessing. However, sceptical as I was I just saved it and decided to look at it at a later date. Really shouldn’t have done that. Even imagining how much of a relief I could already have had, if I had looked into the advertised product sooner… well I won’t go into that otherwise I’ll just get angry at myself again.

Either way, fast forward a few months… yep, you heard right… months and I’m on my way to a holiday destination and a good friend of mine and I are talking about noise sensitivity, promted by the people surrounding us. During that talk, we realize that we’ve both been seeing the same advertisement and decide to have a proper look into it together during our holiday. We both end up ordering a pair after we decide what we want to use them for and we’re excited to see how those really work and if they will deliver what they promise

When we get them delivered, we try them out immediately. The first thing we notice is that with the type that we’ve chosen, it is legitimately possible to still have a conversation with both of them in our ears but everything feels filtered. As if someone had given us a volume control for our surroundings. Everything seemed less overwhelming at once and I’ve never felt so relieved to no longer have the constant need of drowning out unwanted sounds with other sounds; more specifically music. (Although that is still my prefered method and will always be but sometimes it’s not posssible and it is still a relief that I no longer need it in order to not feel overwhelmed.)
From then on they have become a permant fixture in my life. I never leave the house without them anymore, they are always on my keychain.

I got the chance to test them out in many situations since then. Both for reducing backround noise and reducing noise as a whole as well as using them as proper earplugs when trying to sleep by putting the lil mute thingy in. (I have since then ordered a second pair that’s specifically designend to be used for sleeping and blocking out sound completely for future situations but I didn’t have to use them yet.)

For example, we decided to go to a pretty lively bar/club while I was on holiday and there were a lot of people there. As a result, it was loud and the music that was playing wasn’t helping with that fact. So I put my Loop Earplugs in and everything just got a lil more quiet. It was an absolute blessing.

I’ve also already used them at Uni in order to block out the background noise of people shuffling, rustling, basically anything that would distract me from what I’m actually supposed to be doing, which is listening to the person speaking in front.

Needless to say, daily life and noise has become a lot less overwhelming since then.

I have also recommended them to a lot of people since then and they’ve all been extremely happy with them. So, if you’re now curious to check out the website yourself you can simply click here.

Before I end this blog post I want you to know one more thing: Yes, this is an advertisement and yes, I am affiliated with Loop Earplugs, and the link is an affiliate link, however I want you to know that it was me that looked for whether or not they had an affiliate program and I have not been approached by them, simply because I am so happy with them.

As a result everything that I have written is 100% genuine and my own opinion.

The only thing that remains to say is that if any of the things that I have mentioned have in some way shape or form spoken to you, give them a try, you won’t regret it. They even help you figure out which ones suit you best by asking you what function you hope the Loop Earplugs fulfill.

So, if you do decide to get some, feel free to let me know in the comments how your experience with them goes.

For now though take care. Till the next blog post ❤

~Luna

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Posted in Mentality

Of Emotional Burnout and Social Anxiety

Posted on by Scoraluna

Hello fellow people on this earth, I am back and a lot has happened. My mental health has gone from bad to worse and then to better again and now I would say we’re somewhere between okay and good. But let me start from the beginning.

Once upon a time… okay we don’t need to go that far back but let’s indeed go back a few months. As you may or may not know (you would know, if you watch me on twitch) my mental state was pretty fragile for a while after that stressful time last year. A lot of canceled plans, streams, events… you name it, I probably canceled it. I was constantly feeling stressed, overwhelmed and like everything was just too much. I felt like a rubber band that was being stretched too far, ready to snap at any given moment.

After a while I felt like something was seriously going wrong in my life. I started noticing things like myself being constantly anxious when around friends and family alike, which was something I used to only experience in social situations with strangers before. I also started to have a hard time doing simple things like going shopping or going to pick up a package without being super anxious or needing like days to prepare in advance.

Long story short, I noticed it was starting to affect me in my daily life and quite strongly so. I have always been a bit socially anxious but I’ve always managed to cope with it. At that point I no longer was able to, and a rule that I had set myself was that I would look for help incase it ever startes influencing my daily life and stops me from doing things. So that’s what I did. I got help and it got better. We figured out that my social anxiety probably started getting worse and developed into a disorder because I was rarely leaving my place and that that was because I was lacking the energy in the first place. So I realized that it was all connected like a weird hell cycle: Constantly stressed out and no time for myself led to me not having any energy and no longer enjoying things. That led to me canceling plans, meaning I didn’t subject myself to social situations which in turn made the social anxiety get worse and worse which made me more stressed out and …. I think you get the gist.

Fast foward a year to now and I am slowly beginning to recover. About a month ago I told my roommate “you know what? I finally feel like I wanna do more than the bare minimum again” and that was such a huge feeling for me after I had felt so empty and without energy for a long time. I’ve also changed a few things in my life. I have restructured my day just enough so that it has a lose structure to keep me from feeling like I am just drifting along, I’m trying to add some habits into my day like meditation, regularly working out and going to bed and getting up at a regular time and I call “offline-hour”.

Offline hour was really something I wanted to implement into my daily rhythm simply because a lot of my life happens online. During offline hour I turn off my Internet for an hour. No social media, no chats, just time for myself. Whether or not offline hour consists of me actively doing something or just chilling and listening to music for an hour doesn’t matter. This is my time that I am taking to turn off from the day, so to speak. And believe me when I say you cannot imagine how incredibly rejuvenating this hour is for me, it gets my mind to slow down and stops it from going what sometimes feels like million miles an hour. It’s pure bliss.

I also, believe it or not, may have finally found a solution for my pesonal problem that I have with procrastination. I will write a separate blog post on that soon because it’s really something I wanna share with you.

Alright Luna, that’s all fine and well you’ve found ways to no longer be burnt out but what about the social anxiety, how is that going?

I’m so glad, you’re asking, dear reader. As shitty as it might sound but the only way how you can beat social anxiety is by subjecting yourself to the situations you’re the most scared of. So I did. I went shopping although my heart was racing and I was constantly fidgeting around. I went to that gathering although my head was telling me a billion good reasons not to go and instead stay home where it’s safe and we don’t have to deal with anxiety symptoms.

However, just because you should subject yourself to those things, it doesn’t mean that you can’t do it with stabilizers. I used to get massively overwhelmed by a lot of people and their noise, so I used to only enter stores or places with a lot of people with my headphones on. Works totally fine when you’re alone, not so much when you’re with someone or rather you’re meeting up with people to go somewhere, where a lot of other people are too. So that was always a bit of an issue. But thanks to my instagram algorithm I have found a solution for that too. I want to give you a proper review of that solution though also in another blog post because it deserves it. Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long.

But yeah, needless to say, I am doing much better. Of course there are always things that can still be improved, bad habits that can and need to be broken but I am making progress and I’m so incredibly happy about that. 😊

The last thing I still wanna say, if you’ve made it this far, is “thank you”. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for listening to me. I’m not writing these posts because I want pity or anything the like. I’m writing these because I want to be open about mental health related topics. I want to be open about how it easy it can be to slip into something like this and I want these topics to no longer be taboo topics no one talks about because we all have to function. We don’t. It’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to say no and it’s okay to look out for yourself, to take care of yourself. In fact, it is not only okay, it’s a must.

So please do me and yourself a favor and do so ❤

And now I will go, offline hour is about to start. We’ll read each other in the next one.
Take care.

~Luna

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Posted in Life, Mentality

2021 RECAP

Posted on by Scoraluna

Starting to stream, receiving a huge boost, finding new friends through streaming, increasing my work hours, losing my job… So many things have happened…

Hi, I’m back! 2021 definitely was a roller coaster from start to finish. Strap yourselves in folks, this is gonna be a long one.

So I recently cracked open my, admittedly very failed, Bullet Journal for 2021 (the last spread I did was April…but let’s not talk about that now shall we? 😅) and realized that almost all of the things that I wrote at the very beginning of the year, the things that 2021 should be filled with, 2021 has actually been filled with.

Happiness, ideas, togetherness, positivity, hugs, luck, laughter, growth, opportunities and many more…

But there were also multiple things that went less than ideal. So let’s start the recap, shall we?

As you may or may not know, I started streaming last year in April. Pretty much along the same time, I opened this blog and began writing blog posts. Was, unfortunately, not really able to keep up with it, but more on that and why I’m hoping to change that again in a bit. Pretty soon after I had started streaming, I was insanely lucky to receive a huge boost, for which I will be forever grateful, and suddenly there were people actually watching and caring about what I did. It was an incredible feeling and I was extraordinarily happy. So happy that I wished I could do it all the time. However, I was still working part time and had even recently increased my hours, because I had actually managed to get myself a bachelor’s degree and wanted to focus a bit more on working instead of uni. Didn’t mean that I wanted to stop focusing on uni completely, but at that point we had summer holidays, so stuff worked out, but boy was I naive to think that it would continue being that way. (Spoiler: It didn’t.)

Summer holidays also meant I had more time for being social, which was great, considering I had actually found new friends via streaming. Didn’t think it was actually possible to get this close with people you’ve never met in real life, but the internet, chatting and video phoning did it’s job and we knew pretty quickly that we wanted to meet in real life. All of that required planning and since I was the only one that was working every single day, we had to plan that around that somehow. It worked out, but it certainly wasn’t ideal, however, it wasn’t as if I could have just taken time off anytime someone was coming, so it was what it was.

As the summer faded, work became more and more demanding, which is not a surprise considering more hours meant more responsibility, and I quickly realized that I probably wouldn’t be able to continue as things were, but I tried. I tried to squeeze everyhing I could into the day: work, stream, blog, other socials, uni, workout, social life, at that point also a relationship and free time/time where I took care of myself. Needless to say, it didn’t work out and multiple fights, mental break downs, lost sleep and lost weight, due to simply not having the time to eat, were the result of the lifestyle that I was living, but I tried to keep going. My friends became more and more concerend about me and my health and tried to make me see that I was already at my limit and wouldn’t be able to continue, but I was stubborn.

Then came September, October and the beginning of November. Now, sorry, I know that sounds all dramatic and stuff, like something along the lines of “everything changed when the fire nation attacked” but it was sorta dramatic. At the end of September I lost my, what I thought was a stable job, due to economical reasons. This was a first for me and I knew that I had 6 weeks in order to find something new. I wanted to give Twitch a chance, but doing that meant that I had to see whether or not I could make it work. So I increased my stream hours, while simultaneously looking for a new job, because I didn’t think it would work out financially otherwise.

The next one and half months were hell. Uni had picked back up and that meant that I had even less time for the stuff I was doing. So there I was, trying to manage a week with about 12-15 hours of streaming, 15 hours of work, about 2-3 hours of uni each day, doing organisatory and bureaucracy stuff for the stream, trying not to fry my social life completely, being there for the people who needed me, trying to keep my relationship from completely breaking appart and doing the bare minimum to keep my soul from leaving my body, in order to find a more responsible vessel… Yeah… I don’t think that I need to tell you that this is definitely not something you should do.

Relief came with a talk that I had with my parents, who told me that for now I don’t have to worry about finding something new. That I should give Twitch a chance. That I should cut back at work to do the necessary but not more and also cut back at uni, since I have a degree already and can always focus on uni again, once the other things are sorted out. I am so insanely grateful to them for being as supportive as they are. Yes, I may be 25 years old and no longer need the approval from my parents, but knowing that they do support you is just absolutely incredible. From then on things began to be a bit easier. It was still stressful but the insane pressure lessened. Unfortunately, my relationship did end up falling appart, but I’m not gonna elaborate on that any further. It just didn’t work out, because we had different views.

For the rest of the year I fell into a somewhat comfortable rythm. Doing uni, which sadly started being online again, so my motivation for that flew out of the window never to be seen again pretty quickly, and streaming in between. And for a while that worked out pretty well. However, towards the end of the year and beginning this year I started to notice that something wasn’t right. I felt frustrated and angry with myself and didn’t even know why for some time. After a while I realized that it was, because I wasn’t being as productive as I’d liked to be and that wasn’t happy anymore with the quality of the content I was producing. Granted, I was also dealing with some health issues, but my mentality plummeted and I felt drained more often than not. On top that I felt like I wasn’t improving anymore. I had lost my fire and had gotten too comfortable. I had completely stopped producing any sort of other content other than stream and I had gotten bored of myself, my own content.

All of this I realized with a clarity when I woke up one day, after a horrid night’s sleep, and my head just started screaming at me. All of my insecurities, self-doubt and every negative thought I’ve ever had about myself were there all of a sudden and they were so loud. After I had finally found a way to make them quieten down again, I knew with a clarity that this wasn’t how things can continue. I needed to change something. What those changes are gonna be exactly, is at the point of writing this post still up in the air. I’m hoping to use this week to clean up some “constuction zones” that are currently open, reorganize myself and figure out not if but how I’m gonna continue this adventure I’m currently on.

However, one of the things that I already know that I wanna change, is to create other content besides streaming again, including blog posts. The plan is to do at least one a week, even if it’s just someting I ramble about and it’s less elaborate than this one right here. Some of the other things that I wanna work out is my own health – mentally and physically. I can’t just stop taking care of my body any time things get stressful, so I also need to find preventitive measures to make sure that all of the negative things above don’t happen again, and, on top of all that, I need to find a way to realistically decide, what I can promise others and myself, as to not keep feeling like I’m disappointing people and myself.

So yeah, that was my 2021 and the beginning of 2022. I know that it was a long post, so thank you for taking the time to read. It feels good to be back to writing and I’m hoping that I will be able to keep up with it.

Time to show you what I can do once I have regained my passion!

But for now, see (read) you in the next one! Please stay safe and healthy! ❤

~Luna

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Posted in Mentality

Procrastination Frustration

Posted on by Scoraluna

Most of us know it, many of us do it: procrastinating. Including me, so in today’s post I want to talk to you about my experiences with procrastination and why it annoys me so much.

But before we dive deeper into my personal story and experiences, we first have to answer the question: what even is procrastination? Essentially, the act of procrastinating means to postpone something to “later” but the problem about this is nobody, not even you yourself really knows when this “later” is going to be. You just don’t wanna do it right now and so do other things instead. Those can either also be productive things like cleaning or doing work around the house or, and this is the more likely version of procrastination, spending the time watching videos, playing video games, being on social media etc. Now, I’m not saying that those are bad things to do, ef no, I do them myself often enough, and they are definitely great leisure time activities.

So if the activities themselves are not the problem, then what is it? It’s the time you do them in/ the activity you do them instead of. Say, you have a big project due soon-ish and it is so much work that you don’t know where to start. The smart and probably correct thing to do would be to just start, anywhere, doesn’t matter where as long as you do it, after all you can go back, revise your work and improve it. As a procrastinator, however, you do the exact opposite and just spend your time doing other things for so long that it gets too late for you to do the actual work and so you end up postponing it to the next day. And then rinse and repeat until the deadline is literally in a few days, you panic, have to pull an allnighter (or multiple) and the project ends up being rushed.

Sounds horrible right? Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Well, here is the thing, I don’t know. I don’t know, why I don’t get up early in the morning, do my work straight away and then have the rest of the day for whatever it is I want to do. It sounds like such a nice thing to have and yet I rarely ever manage to do so. I don’t even really know when I started procrastinating. I can only remember that I suddenly started doing it and have been doing it ever since. And man, does it suck! 😅

Getting instant gratification from doing all those leisure time activities when you’re not supposed to be doing them doesn’t even feel good. You feel unhappy, guilty and there is this little voice in the back of your mind that constantly goes: “you should be doing work, have you thought about your work?, why are you doing this? you know that you’re gonna be angry at yourself, if you keep this up”…. and so on and so forth. I know all of this and yet it is so hard to break this habit. It’s like being on a roller coaster that goes around and around and around and I’m already sick from the ride and I wanna get off it but at some point some part of my mind has decided that this is my life now and we’re gonna have fun on this ride!

Some people that are non-procrastinators will now probably think “but Luna, this seems to be just an issue of conquering your weaker self, you just have to learn how to be stronger than that!” and yeah, honestly? You’re right, it is absolutely just that. And I guess that is what frustrates me so much about it. Sometimes it works out: I get up earlier, plan out my day, take regular breaks and just get stuff done; and it feels fantastic!
There are techniques that work for me as well: bullet journaling really helps me out, so does breaking tasks down to smaller junks and I have also started to actively decide against working when I feel like I can’t concentrate or lack the motivation to do so, if I have the freedom to do so, of course. All of those things are helping but it would be so much easier, if I could just get off this ride and move on. 😅

I guess the only way out of this really is to keep working on myself and my mindset. However, writing this post, I have also realized something. Not all procrastination is bad I would even go as far as to say that there are even some kinds that are beneficial! Sometimes you might not want to rush into things that you might end up unhappy with/in. That could be jobs, relationships or other bigger choices in life that you might wanna think over again or maybe you have already made a choice, you ended up being unhappy with and now you want to change something by leaving it be for a while in order to pursue something that interests you more.

All of those are situations where you might want to procrastinate a little bit in order to find out what you really want or what really works for you and that is more than okay because if the opportunity presents itself, why not do something that really makes you happy?

~Luna

Still… can someone call a theme park worker, please? I’d like to get off this ride now.

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    Posted in Life

    Next Stop: Nostalgia Valley!

    Posted on by Scoraluna

    Today I want to share with you my history with video games, what they mean to me and how Twitch plays a role in all of this. So I hope you’re ready for some nostalgia and story-time. 😊

    Video games have always been a part of me, since I was little. I used to watch my parents play them in fact. My dad introduced me to games like Sacred or later on Guild Wars, whereas my mum, despite also playing those games, shared her love for Anno and Sims with me. They both showed me how much fun it can be to just tune out from the real world for a few hours and immerse yourself in a digital one.

    Fast forward a few years and your girl is now eight years old and has finally convinced her parents to get her her first handheld gaming console for her birthday. It was a Game Boy Advance and it had this awesome silver and black design on it that looked like flames.(Can you tell I still love this console? xD) I was over the moon when I got it and from then on Super Mario, Rayman and Spyro basically became my life and I loved every second of it!

    I got my first computer when I was 11. I remember the day vividly, my dad had put his old PC-set-up in my room, so the boys at my birthday party would have something to play with. Little did he know that it was me who spent basically my entire birthday party glued to the screen xD. It took a little bit of convincing but eventually I got to keep the PC in my room. It was one of those old CRT-monitors that were common back then (and my god those things were huge ^^) and a mouse and a keyboard that looked whole lot different from what most of us, including myself, have nowadays. I just realized I’m making this sound like I’m sooo old when in reality I’m 23; makes me realize how fast the tech world is changing ^^. It was then that I discovered my first ever RPG – Sacred. I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent playing this game over the years, trying it out with different characters, even playing it together with my mum via LAN, it was a hell of a lot of fun. Sacred paved the way for my love for PC-games and while I still enjoy playing games on hand held consoles or other consoles, PC-gaming is my main thing.

    Video games have helped me through some difficult times in life, where all I wanted to do was to turn off my brain for a little bit, tune out and focus on a world that wasn’t this one. They have helped me discover beautiful worlds and made me feel successful, strong and powerful when I wasn’t feeling like that in real life. They have helped me step back from problems by blocking them out for a bit, which enabled me to go back to those problems after they have had time to simmer a bit and I was able to look at them from a more objective angle. They have shaped a big part of me into what I am today and I will be forever grateful that to this day this is something my whole family enjoys and we can bond over.

    Now, how does Twitch fit into all of this? This joy, emotion and all of the things that video games gave me, and are still giving me, are things I want to share with the world. I want to connect with like-minded people and interact with them, giving both myself and them a place where they can belong and give them an opportunity to smile, laugh or simply to focus on something else for a while. All of these content creators that I watch or read have given me so much and my goal is to be able to do the same.

    Being a content creator has always been something that I wanted to do and now I’m finally starting to do so. It’s scary and exciting at the same time and there are still a lot of hurdles that I have to overcome and I’m aware that there will be a lot of hurdles in the future as well. The path I have taken is not gonna be an easy one but I am convinced it is going to be worth it in the end; and as I learn and improve, my content hopefully will too!

    Thank you for taking the time to read this little insight into my life and my thoughts. I hope all of you are staying safe and well. ❤

    ~Luna~

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